--- title: I want to say genre: verse id: i-want-to-say toc: "I want to say" project: title: Autocento of the breakfast table class: autocento ... | I want to say I take it all back | I want | I want to take it back I want it none of it | to be ever have happened not | when I saw you step over the rope | when we went to New York for a week | but stayed upstate when you punched me | hard in the solar plexus in Prague | when I looked in your face and [saw myself][] | looking back smiling when we went on another trip | and another all the trips I want to have | stayed home I want to have seen the clouds | drifting past [my car window][] to have listened | to that sound the bridge makes driving over it | without thinking of you always it was you | I want | I [want to be fresh][] I want to roll out of bed | as though it were my [first morning in a new state][] | I want nothing more than absolution of sins | [a negation but there is no way to subtract here][] | I cannot remove this growth that appeared | seemingly overnight I cannot [cut you away from myself][] | I cannot forget what has already and will always have been | I cannot get out of a [new bed][] ever | New York will always be as it was when I saw it first | with you my breathing will always be labored outside | of the cafe I will always see you when [I look in a mirror][] | of someone's face the reflection of missed thoughts missed | [words will cease to give meaning][] the center will come out | of me I will make a new center yes I will drag what is | your center around with me and [repeat and repeat][] again | I cannot want cannot want want not [new bed]: in-bed.html [saw myself]: deathstrumpet.html [my car window]: boy_bus.html [want to be fresh]: plant.html [first morning in a new state]: collage-instrument.html [a negation but there is no way to subtract here]: no-nothing.html [cut you away from myself]: elegyforanalternateself.html [I look in a mirror]: lovesong.html [words will cease to give meaning]: words-meaning.html [repeat and repeat]: question.html