---
title: In bed
genre: verse

id: in-bed
toc: "In bed"

project:
    title: Autocento of the breakfast table
    class: autocento
...

## I

| I hear [the rats][] run
| in the walls like water
| through a tree.  My blood

| thickens.  As I dream
| the masturbation dream
| the shelf above my bed

| falls covering me in
| dirt and decaying beetles.
| [I see my reflection is headless][].

## II

| When the waves stop
| [and the moon grins down][]
| to overtake me: the car

| ran up the street that night
| when you were nearly
| molested in your neighbor's house:

| is this why we don't have
| neighbors?  For this the trees
| [rot only for us][]?

## III

| I [woke screaming][] and you
| came to sit next to me.  I felt
| my eyes were open too wide

| that I could not shut them
| from the horror movie sitting
| on your lap in the easy chair

| in the dream the other dream
| in the living room under
| the tree.  Why do I feel guilty?


## IV

| I wake up in a pool of water
| [closed over me like an eyelid][].
| There is no longer comfort

| in staring at the ceiling.
| Its pitch blackness beckons
| into a future of blankness.

| My body lay still quaking.
| My mind is chained fast
| to the beating of my heart.

## V

| I sit up slowly creaking.
| I find myself alone buried
| [in an ocean][].  Far off

| [there is an eagle][] flying
| toward me.  She lands on
| [my knee and lays an egg][].

| I think *not this again*
| something I've never
| thought in my life.

## VI

| I think *not this again*
| something I've never
| thought in my life.  Not

| after losing my car keys
| in the easy chair.  Not after
| scratching myself on a branch.

| Not after finding the thing
| in your dresser drawer that
| night.  [I remember you suddenly.][]


## VII

| You run through me
| [like rats][rats] down an alley.
| You are in my [blood][].

| You scared me once
| remember?  Jumped out
| of the bathroom door.

| I fell screaming onto
| the linoleum.  Did you
| apologize?  Did you need to?

## VIII

| The ocean that surrounds me
| creaks like a rocking
| cradle.  Your face bright

| as the moon at eclipse
| and as [red][].  Low song
| my tide stretching

| to the horizon.  Ripples
| on the surface belie
| something bigger beneath.

## IX

| In bed I am alone for
| the only time.  In bed
| I am a grown man.

| Below the blankets I
| know you for who you are.
| In bed I see your face

| pressed against the window.
| I look out and see you
| and I am not afraid.

[the rats]: last-bastion.html
[I see my reflection is headless]: deathstrumpet.html
[and the moon grins down]: moon-drowning.html
[rot only for us]: options.html
[woke screaming]: worse-looking-over.html
[closed over me like an eyelid]: theoceanoverflowswithcamels.html
[in an ocean]: the-sea_the-beach.html
[there is an eagle]: mountain.html
[I remember you suddenly.]: ouroboros_memory.html
[rats]: #I
[blood]: plant.html
[red]: window.html
[my knee and lays an egg]: http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/kveng/kvrune01.htm